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In order to find the perfect mate, place to live, job, friends and even my personality, I have to dig really deep into everything. I need to dig into my past, my present and my future. I am not sure if it would be better to do from a distance or try to do it within my situation. I haven't tried to do it without staring my problems in the face since more keep coming, ones that I though were done keep coming back and even in best situations there was always still at least one. A lot of times, that one problem staring me down was the only way I could get away from the rest for a moment yet it keep making me recap the problems I was trying to hide from.
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From the past, I have learned a lot of things I do not want to repeat as well as things that I felt were right and I really enjoyed. Though I enjoyed certain aspects of my past, something tore me away from them. Some things I feel that I should repeat because I did enjoy them and there were positive things are things that ended because I didn't treat them right by neglect, abuse and misuse. Some of the aspects of things I liked did end by what seems to be fate itself telling me I was on the wrong path somehow. This may not have been in whole, rather or parts of what I was doing or who I was.

For the future, if I have one, I will have to ananylze everything really deep one at a time. However, the hardest part is that doing so I ignore what is happening around me. What is happening around me can not get worse because that negatively affects my future as well. However, I am only one person and just with the preset, I am overwhelmed.
I will be continuing this topic as time goes by. It will take several entries.
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