Found Myself, Lost a Friend

I had a friend for five years that I was really close to. He was like a brother to me. He wasn't much older and most people thought we were born brother, even twins. I confided in him about things I didn't even imagine talking to my family about. We were there for each no matter what.


When I decided it was time to stop hiding, I talked to him face to face. I told him about how I felt, why and what was going on including the future. I expected it to be a shock and possibly take some time to sink in. I figured he would eventually get comfortable with it. I was wrong.

He actually stopped coming around and avoided conversation. He had excuses. I tried to compromise with different things and there was no effort on his end. He couldn't possibly get comfortable with it if he wasn't around it. What makes it even worse is that he was supposed to be the godfather of my daughter. He used to check in on her as much as he can. Event that stopped even though I gave him a chance to spend time with her alone so he didn't have to deal with me.


Eight months had gone by and not one visit from him. Not even to pick up his stuff which I told him about. I had lost my apartment and my daughter was staying at my sister's house. Out of the blue, he is talking on facebook about spending time with her on Halloween. I snapped and took him off of my friends list. It wasn't right that would try to go behind my back especially since it was either months since she seen him.


The whole situation is a mess. I wish it never happened the way it did. He used to be someone who accepted people for who they are and who they are becoming. He never would take it out on his goddaughter. He changed for the worse as I am trying to change for the better.

Honestly, I do miss hanging out with him. I wish I knew a way to repair things. At one point, he was going to move out of state and I wouldn't be able to see him anymore. That would have been on good terms and not hurt so much.

A year later and it still hurts.